On loving Jesus in the presence of our children & loving our children in the presence of God

Good evening all! So May was a super busy month for us, but I am planning to do at least one wrap up post for it asap.

In the meantime, I was also honored to share some thoughts at a baby shower recently and (with the guest of honor's permission and after a few small edits) thought I'd post my notes here in case anyone else is interested in reading them. Glancing over them, many of the points could definitely be expanded on in the future, so bear in mind these are little tidbits to think on. Hoping they prove a blessing! :) <3

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So when I was asked to do this devotional, I almost immediately knew what I wanted to share. It’s something I’ve been pondering a lot lately, which is: what exactly do mothers need every day to make this all work? What will carry us through whatever happens tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that? And, in short, it’s the gospel. So we’re going to visit about that. We’re going to talk about the gospel. And to talk about loving Jesus in the presence of our children and about loving our children in the presence of God.

What does a home look like where the mother is mentally, spiritually, and emotionally at rest? A mother who is deeply at peace, who is passionate about her loves, and whose loves are well ordered? And how in the world are we supposed to get there?

The ONLY way to do this, is to be abiding in Christ. We need to be drinking of the living water, which is Christ. But how do we find that well on an average Tuesday? And how do we really dwell in Him?

Firstly, abiding in Him is knowing His Word. And when we read His word, we need to be studying and learning to see how every passage foremost and primarily preaches Christ.

This isn't about positive thinking or affirmations or about what we even feel at any given time. Walking faithfully in Christ is all about knowing and keeping our eyes on what God has already done; dwelling in His Word to see what that is and who Christ has revealed Himself to be. It’s about learning to see how Christ fulfills all the promises – and will continue fulfilling all things – from beginning to middle to end. Our life is entirely in and of Christ and to Christ alone.

A word about peace and fruitfulness… We know from John 15, that our fruitfulness is directly related to our faithfully abiding in Him. And to be faithful we cannot be looking to ourselves, but looking to Him to keep us faithful. We know that the Spirit dwells in us, pointing us to Christ, and in John 15 Christ says if we know Him, we know the Father also. Christ is the True Vine and we must abide in Him, rest in Him, and He will feed our souls.

There are vast deeps here, of course, but He also tells us how this happens in John 15:9-13, immediately after He tells us to be fruitful: “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”

It's the paradox at the center of our faith; the way up is down, the way to exaltation is the cross, when we are in weakness, then we are strong.

Difficult things – hard providences – will come, even just very sticky days (literally sometimes, in the process of managing a household), but when the storm gets intense, and very dark, He is faithful. Everything He has for us to walk through will somehow, one day, be turned to an immeasurable weight of glory. And this is part of the mystery. Good things themselves aren’t always all sunshine and sparkles. They can be hard, very hard, but they're nonetheless good.

When it comes to Christian living, I highly recommend reading the book of Ephesians, multiple times. And then again. I heard a pastor speak once about how the first half of Ephesians is all about everything God has done for us, the foundation for all the faithful living that we’re called to do in the second half. There’s so much to discuss and share in Ephesians, but for our time here (with great restraint) I’ll just read first from chapter 2:1-10. This reminds and reorients us.

“And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

And then jumping forward, there’s the climactic ending section of that first half, chapter 3 verses 14-19:

“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

This is our one and only foundation. In Him our labors are glorified and have meaning, for of Him and through Him and to Him are all things.

Everything in our lives and in our homes – the dishes, the vacuuming, the diapers, the spills, the burning dinner – are each threads in the tapestry of life and should draw us closer to Him.

Switching gears to talk of some practicalities, I’ve tried to compile some tangible thoughts below that will hopefully be encouraging.

When it comes to our children, we plant and water and prune and HAVE to trust God for the increase. He has called us to be faithful, faithfully imitating Him as He is our Heavenly Father. In her book, Teaching from Rest Sarah Mackenzie says: “We all long to hear ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21, 23). Our task is to love God with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to do it in front of and with our kids (see Deuteronomy 6:5; Matthew 22:37). To do it when we rise up and when we walk along the way (see Deuteronomy 6:7).”

It is God and God alone who works in the hearts of our children, but we have the inestimable privilege of raising them in the covenant, of modeling the love of God to our children, of showing what loving Jesus looks like, actively and daily. This passing on of the faith is a ginormous and exhilarating blessing, and a terrifying and humbling endeavor, but He has promised to be with us.

Our children are genuine little saints. Not saintly, but saints. Little brothers and sisters in the faith. Called apart and separated to the service of the Lord. And this is hugely important. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the long-term vision, the end goal – having a strong young man or woman, faithful in the Lord – and that can be helpful and necessary, but I think it’s hugely important too to focus on the day we’ve been given. Right now. Raising a three-year-old who loves Jesus today. Lord willing, they will grow in understanding as they mature, but we’re living out the faith in real time, it’s not being put on hold, and the goal is to have a faithful five-year-old, six-year-old, seven-year-old, etc. A four-year-old who loves Jesus and is a faithful four-year-old, learning to love Christ, and confess their sins, and faithfully obey Him.

In dealing with their sin, we march our children right back to Christ, pointing them back to Jesus from the very beginning. “We are Christians and we are not to do xyz.” Grabbing them by their baptism. Teaching them how to confess that they have sinned, to thank God for His forgiveness in Christ, and to pray for the power of the Holy Spirit to help them. And in all of our discipling of our children, we are to do it with true authority, but also in all humility, as fellow servants who have themselves been forgiven much. 

Along those lines, how do they see us dealing with temptation and sin? Not just in the regular pattern of Sunday worship, but daily. Of course, this includes the times we may lose self-control (for instance) and have to confess that we have and ask their forgiveness, but also have we thought about the times when we don't lose self-control at some life happening, but the temptation is there? In my case, sometimes I'll even tell my small person, "Mommy is really upset right now, but I have to have self-control." In the talking it out, they can see you patterning the living.

We have to remember, remember to obey. So much of obedience is a remembering. For us as parents, also trying to be aware and remembering to encourage them when they do well. Just a short, “I noticed you doing (whatever-the-command-was) and that was great.” Or “That's so good that you remembered and obeyed. Was it hard to do?”

And are we modelling – not just necessary respect for the things of God – His word and covenant – but are we modelling joy in our salvation? This isn’t about jinning emotions up in ourselves, but do our children see how much we love Jesus – are we articulating that out loud? God speaks to us in His word, He has created us as speaking creatures, Christ is the Word made flesh. They need to hear these things spilling out. And they need to see us imitating the Father’s love for His children.

This isn’t just about being proud of them for an achievement, etc. but simply delighting in them as our children. Again, we know the importance of discipline when and where necessary. Proverbs 13:21: “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” So yes, discipline is love. But do your children KNOW, deep down, how much you love them and how much you just absolutely love getting to be their mommy? We do so much for our children, some of which they will just have to grow to recognize with maturity and adulthood, the love and care and provision. But it’s important that they know right now – tangibly – right down to their toes, that Jesus loves them, and that we love them. This isn’t an empty exercise.

Each family is unique, made up of different personalities, but we are all also audible, physical human creatures and our children literally won’t know certain things unless we tell them. Walking them through… talking them through living. They need to hear it. So I’d encourage you to think of ways to do this verbally. Hugging them, getting down on their level, grabbing their little face and telling them: “Jesus died to save us and now He's caring for us and washing us clean every day. Sanctifying us.” “We love Jesus, because He always, always, always loves us.”

And short prayers throughout the day are super helpful.

Passing the fire of the faith on to our children is not burdensome, it’s a privilege. And yes, learning how to dutifully do household chores is a major part of the training ground, but even if the dishes don’t get done that day, this – this – is the heart of things.

We need Christ every day and it is our great honor to every day be pointing our children to Jesus alongside us. Then too, as we are joined to His church, His Bride, we are cleansed and sanctified by the power of His Word and fed at His table.

In Philippians 3, Paul exclaims the great, passionate, single-hearted cry of the Christian:

“…what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.” (Philippians 3:7-12)

One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from Our Reasonable Faith by Herman Bavinck: “The prophets and apostles, and the saints generally who appear before us in the Old and New Testament... did not sit and philosophize about God in abstracted concepts, but rather confessed what God meant to them and what they owed to Him in all the circumstances of life. God was for them not at all a cold concept, which they then proceeded to rationally analyze, but He was a living, personal force, a reality infinitely more real than the world around them. Indeed, He was to them the one, eternal, worshipful Being. They reckoned with Him in their lives, they lived in His tent, walked as if always before His face, served Him in His courts, and worshiped Him in His sanctuary.”

We reckon with, walk before, serve, and worship the God who breaks mountains (and hard hearts) and builds them up again. The God who cast all the constellations across the sky on the day when the sons of God shouted for joy. The God in whom we live and move and have our being. The God (not only in whose tent we dwell), but who is building us – us – frail, sin-prone creatures that we still are – into the glorious temple of His own dwelling place. The God who delights in us with singing and who has given His sure and certain word to hew and shape us – not only into fit stones for His temple – not only into faithful soldiers and citizens in His kingdom service – but into the very likeness of His Son. The Son who loves us with a white-hot heat of zealous love and who descended into the darkness and horror and tearing, ripping pain of death to win His bride. The Son who was raised from the dead and is the Firstborn over all creation, reigning at the right hand of His Father, who is our Father as well. He is our good Shepherd, the Shepherd Who lives every day to make intercession for us and for our children at the throne of grace. We can rest in Him, for His yoke is easy and His burden is light.